Number Twenty Nine Frustration
29
you, Earth, Sun,
Milky Way, Universe
you can’t fix it.
Lesson # 29
Ah, so you want to make this a good world!
Sorry it can’t be done.
The universe just is.
When you try very hard to improve people,
you can break your will on that hard stone.
When you try to control things,
control can slip right through your fingers.
Things just are.
People do what they want to do
regardless of your plans for them.
Life just happens.
From: 81 Lessons from the Tao Te Ching
Number 29 Frustration
Ah so you want to make this a good world
Sorry it can’t be done
The universe just is
And after your frustration fades you can begin to see
that here is something sacred about
your inability to fix things
When you try very hard to improve people
you can break your will on that hard stone
When you try to control things
control can slip right through your fingers
Things just are
People do what they want to do regardless of your plans for them
Life just happens
Sometimes you prosper
Sometimes you fail
Sometimes you strain and struggle
Sometimes everything comes easy
Sometimes you are filled with energy
Sometimes you can’t get out of bed
Sometimes you never want it to end
and sometimes you are begging for it to end
How can you embrace all of that
and still hold your ground
and still keep your center
NUMBER TWENTY NINE
If you desire to gain the kingdom by action,
I see that you will not succeed.
The kingdom is a spiritual vessel,
It cannot be gained by action.
He who acts, destroys it
He who grasps, loses it.
Therefore behold the animals:
Some go in front, others follow;
Some are warm, others cold;
Some are strong, others feeble;
Some keep moving, others are still.
That is why the self-controlled man puts away excess, he puts away egotism,
he puts away easy living
Isabella Mears, The Tao Teh King, A Tentative Translation from the Chinese, William McLellan, Glascow, 1916.
Number 29 (commentary) Why does helping make me so tired?
In the 1950’s the slogan of General Electric was, “Progress is our most important product!” In those days many believed that, with the gifts of capitalism, materialism and optimism, we could do away with suffering. Lao Tsu knew better. He believed that both progress and regression are just way-stations on the endless spinning wheel that whirls between fortune and misfortune.
Our ego is trapped on that wheel. Can you remain as detached from your victories as you do from your defeats?
Stay calm. Keep it simple. Live within your means.
Hold to your center.
Tangent and Tool #29, What are you in charge of? A question and a reflection, “What is my responsibility?” In the Bhagavad Gita, a Hindu holy text, there is the teaching that, “To the action you have a right, but not the fruits thereof.” You have a responsibility, a calling, a devotion, a passion, an impulse to take action. That is a good and noble thing. We are meant to take action in this world. And God knows our world needs it! Show up, suit up and play 100%. There is nothing passive about Taoism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity or any other spiritual belief. You have a complete right and complete responsibility for the actions you take.
But not for the results of those actions, not for “the fruits thereof.” Plant the tree and care for it and it may give you baskets of apples. Or a drought may dry it up. Or lightning may hit it and kill it. Those things you are not responsible for. In the spirit of trying to save our ecosystem, it may mean that you take many actions. We will set many things in motion. Some may work, some may be blown up in our faces, causing more problems that we had before. Some of your actions you may remember with pride on your deathbed and some you may regret on your deathbed. All those successes and failures are “the fruits thereof.” They are not our reasonability. When you get an outcome that you did not expect and did not want, that is not your fault. It’s just that the situation was far more complex than you had imagined.
But we can beat ourselves up mercilessly about things that happen after we take action. We make it our fault. We wallow in guilt and shame. Stop it! If you hurt someone inadvertently, then definitely make amends, take responsibility for your actions and apologize for any pain that resulted from them. Know that the best you can do may not take their pain away. Also know that the other person created much of their suffering. You are going to make mistakes. You are going to hurt people. Try to do as little of that as is possible, but know that actions create impacts, sometimes impacts that we never anticipated. Accept that. Make amends and move on. Stop ruminating over it.