Number 71 (commentary) Why I need to become a problem to myself.
All of us human beings share this disease called Compulsive “I”-ness: I am, I know, I act, I accomplish, I fail.
Symptoms of this illness of Compulsive “I”-ness include aloneness, isolation, a sense of meaninglessness, a hunger for control, a satisfying sense of specialness, a desperate need for others attention and/or a desperate hatred of others, a sense of entitlement of others attention and caring, a separateness from everything and everyone else, an idea that you end at the boundary of your skin, a fear of death and a fear of the termination of this precious “I-ness”. We are glad to collude with everyone else to spread the disease. We eagerly infect our children with it by teaching them their own special name for themselves.
The truth of the matter is that you are merely one point of perception, swirling around in an infinite ocean of other points of perception, with no lasting distinction from any other point besides the reality of your present location.
You are just another sensory organ of the Tao as it dances in an eternal dance of self-awareness.
Marge Piercy ended her poem “Councils” with these words:
After each speaks, she or he
will repeat a ritual phrase:
“It is not I who speaks but the wind.
Wind blows through me.
Long after me, is the wind.”
Tangent and Tool #71, The fight goes on A question and a reflection: “Isn’t this my fight to fight?” We think we have to fight for the Earth (or social justice, survival of our species, animal rights, or any of the many important battles we can take on). But what if we have that backwards What if it isn’t one hero against the multitude of enemies? What if you begin to see yourself as just another one of the many hands doing the work of a much larger body? What if we start to see ourselves as Earth taking the next necessary step? Or we see ourselves as Humanity struggling to mature? Or as Kindness and Compassion manifesting as social action? What if it isn’t all about me as an individual and my own struggles and victories?