I worked with clients with addiction issues for two decades. I still hear folks say, “I don’t understand why they just don’t just stop.” I hope this letter will help you understand.
There is a good reason why people get drawn into addiction. Addiction feels so good. Maybe it’s that wave of relaxation at the end of a rough day that a few drinks gives you. Maybe it is how marijuana just sweeps away anxiety and worry. Maybe it is that feeling of fierce aliveness that comes from an illicit affair. Or how eating fills up that emptiness for a while. Or how blissful the relief from chronic pain feels after enough oxycodine.
Over time the destructive impact of the addictive behavior begins to add up. Somewhere in the addict’s life trouble starts brewing. Finantially, legally, physically, relationally, or professionally their life starts unwinding. The fortunate ones come to see that happening and decide to do something to change it.
Recovery is arduous and can be exhausting. Day after day of sobriety can get pretty grim. It is hard to stay sober in a life that is devoid of the intense pleasure and relief that addictive behavior and substances gave you. Staying away from what once gave you breathing room from inner pain and suffering is way harder than any non-addicted person can imagine. Sobriety is worth it, but sometimes it is barely worth it.
Life is hard anyway. It is hard for all of us. And it is a lot harder with no recess periods. If anyone in your life is able to tack together even a few days at a time of sobriety they deserve your respect, and your compassion, not your judgement.